Aug. 9th, 2009

chesuto: (Sho - letter to myself)
I think there are things people do when it's late and they are just this side of tired and full of anxiety. When low self esteem and insecurity just seem to sneak up on you and before you know it, it has its teeth and claws buried deep.

It's one of those things where I know I'll feel better in the morning. When the thoughts going through my head now will be washed away by morning stirrings and a little bit of sunlight. But for right now I'm just sad. Snuggles, while they mean well, just don't seem to be getting through to me. When you feel that you don't deserve any kindness in the world, it's difficult to accept I think.

But I guess I'm just making excuses for what in the end is just me giving up. Depression is so easy. In the morning, the person inside me that hates to lose will wake up again and flog me for doing this to myself.

But right now, I'm just sad.

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chesuto: (Default)
幸せはきっと私の手の中に

May 2010

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