(no subject)

Went to Work First! Only to find out all their stuff is just online anyway and wow was that a waste of time!

Ever since I've woken up I've had a super tight feeling in my chest. A little like that feeling you get before you cry? I just have a feeling that everything is falling apart despite the realistic fact that nothing is.

- I have a feeling that I'm going to be bankrupt and homeless on the street. Reality: I have money in my savings account to use until I resume my job at school this fall.

- I have a feeling that my financial aid won't go through this year. Reality: There's no reason why it shouldn't. I'm poorer than last year, my grades are still high.

- I have a feeling that I've lost my girlfriend. Reality: We spent hours last night talking about things, and probably things are stronger and clearer now than before.

- I have a feeling that I'm entirely alone in the world. Reality: I'm not, and if I am it's because I choose to be.

Oh hi, tears. There you are.

- I have a feeling that everything won't be all right, and that my life is worthless and purposeless. Reality: Most of my worries center around my future, so logic says somewhere inside I think I have one.

I'll try to cut down on the emo and baw. I'm aware that this is just a rough patch for me, and that I'll get through it. The sun is gorgeous outside, but I don't want to go out yet. I thought I could today but...maybe one more day. If I can't go out tomorrow then I'll...I don't know.

And not knowing is ultimately what I have to struggle to accept.