(no subject)

Had a terrrrrrrrrrrrible couple of days. Everything just went wrong, wrong, wrong. Completely freaked myself out watching that stupid Suicide Club movie.

Things are looking better today though. I now play Sho on the internets at comorbidities, think I'm back on track with Rui, and it's supposed to be an absolutely gorgeous day outside. I think I'll go for a walk and then either work on cleaning or get tae bo out of the way for the day. First though I have a date with a mirror lulz.

Random acts of hate

hahaha well that didn't last long. Went out walking where I was made fun of by Random Asshole on Porch. I should have had my music turned up louder. Came home and cried all over my sister and Rui. Both tried to cheer me up in their own ways.

I know that people who care about me think I'm pretty and that looks aren't supposed to matter. That I shouldn't pay any attention to Random Asshole on Porch. But it still really, really hurt. I immediately internalized it. He wasn't saying that stuff because he's an asshole, oh no. It's because there are tons of things wrong with me, right? Otherwise he wouldn't have said anything!

Still crying a little, but eventually it will be rolled back into all of the other bad stuff that I accumulate in my head. I get used to Ann Arbor. My sister said it was just ranked one of the best places to live in country? The atmosphere is so much more positive. I know it has its shit too, but for the most part no matter who you are, people are there to accept you and think just like you. Not like where I'm at for the summer. I don't want to classify them as rednecks, because then I'm doing just what they do, but there's this Small White Town mentality that is very, very destructive.

I'm going to watch Gackt play with Arashi now.