(no subject)

[chesuto]

Went to the Depression Center today.

I haaaate it there. Luckily I'm just going there for medicine if they decide I need it. They think I'll be fine with Cognitive Behavioral Therapy alone.

Here is the timeline of events since September.

First, medicated with Zoloft. That did Not Go Well. Began talking about CBT with therapist. I...can't really do it very well. Whatever.

Then I've been on Effexor. That also did Not Go Well. It went even worse when the psychiatrist tried to take me off it. Continued work with therapist which isn't going much of anywhere.

So, now I've spent so much money on meds and now on insurance and copays for...absolutely nothing. The lady at the Depression Center is going to talk to my regular therapist about specific areas she thinks he should target with me. The thing is, he already said he couldn't help me and that's why he referred me to the Depression Center! The DC asked me if I wanted to go there or stay where I was. Well, since I hate hate hate the Depression Center, of course I choose to stick with my current therapist, but got rid of psycho psychiatrist. So now I'll be off meds completely from Jan 3rd until the 17th or the 18th I forget.

I'm getting jacked around everywhere, and I'm sick and tired of it. I'm worse now than I was before. I'm incredibly frustrated. I would say fuck the whole mess if I didn't shell out over $2000 for insurance for this shit.

I don't know what to do. I can't speak up for myself, because that's part of why I'm there in the first place. And what do I know about anything anyway. They're trained professionals. I just know that I'm back to crying all the time.