Yesterday

[chesuto]

Was a horrible day. One of those days where everything and anything seems to go wrong.

Today I start on anti-depressants. By next week the psychiatrist says I should be thinking a little more clearly.

I don't understand astronomy. I'm struggling with not feeling like a complete failure for needing to utilize the services available for people who don't understand astronomy. That these services are available, indicating I am in no where near being alone not understanding astronomy doesn't make me feel any better. So I have to carve time out of the time I don't have to go to tutoring.

Bitch bitch whine whine. I find it unbelievable that medicine is supposed to suddenly make things more manageable.

I just have to pass astronomy. I don't need an A. I'm taking the class pass/fail. But as my boss and Rui predicted, I can't think of it that way. I'm terrified of missing points on this assignment.

88% is an A-.

I haven't had a chance to clean my apartment yet this week. I feel dirty. I haven't done tae bo either lately. But hopefully I'll be back on track this week; last week I had a shopping adventure and the Ren Faire which took up a lot of time.

Going to have to eat out again tonight. I don't have time to go shopping and go home to cook before tutoring.

Bleh.

Comments

[skywalker]

Oh, medicine will just work. Don't get worried if you're not feeling like a ray of sunshine in a week, though. When I started citalopram, I was on it for two weeks before I stopped fixating on wanting to be hit by a car (it was actually like someone had flipped a switch in my head -- I cried all afternoon, and then wham, I was fine). And even after I'd been stable for a while, I recently needed my dosage increased.

[rui]

Citalopram is love, man. But agreed, it took a bit of time for the meds to work their way into my system and some extra time to get to the dose i needed to stay stable.

[chesuto]

I'm going to be taking Zoloft I guess. I know size doesn't matter and all, but man these things are tiny and I only take half of one to start. It just seems so weird.

[skywalker]

Size matters not. I mean, five milligrams of valium packs a helluva punch.

Also there's just so much SCIENCE!!1! that goes into making a tiny pill do all that work, you know? Before I was on citalopram, I was on Lexapro, which is the next generation of citalopram's non-generic form, Celexa. Because they somehow engineered the molecule to link with receptors on both ends, ten milligrams of Lexapro is as powerful as twenty of citalopram/Celexa! So... it's small but it's 100% science.

[chesuto]

See, times like that I think science is cool. Then I have to do my astronomy homework and cry.

WSqaEFKXYNf

[(Anonymous)]

You're a real deep thinker. Thanks for sarnhig.