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Jul. 1st, 2009 02:48 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
chesutoThat words meme thingie that went around; these are the ones from Rui.
effort
I've never really felt like I've put effort into anything in my life. Good grades seemed to come easy to me in school, jobs have always fallen into place for me, it seemed like I was in a relationship with an awesome guy up until a few years ago. Then everything kind of blew up and I was forced to actually try for something. In school now I can't just sleep through most of my classes in order to earn an A, and I'm finding that my relationship with Rui is requiring an enormous effort for me to finally break free of the chains of a highly destructive past which left me very mentally scarred. At first I didn't get it. What the hell was effort anyway? For someone content to just let things do whatever, to accept the negative things as her due, it seemed, and still kinda seems, to be a very daunting task. And I'm realizing how important effort is to hold on to the dreams, and people, that you want.
domyoji
My main character in CFUD! He is my soul animal in so many ways. Domyoji has a violent exterior, which I don't, but I make up for that with a mask of indifference and aloofness around people that I'm not close to. He can be very professional, he can act out roles given to him. But inside he's just a big kid who's looking to be loved. He's a hopeless romantic, is angry when people are late, and is just generally a big goofball.
memory
I have an absolutely extraordinary memory. Pity it's just extremely short term. My long term memory seems to be very selective. I remember negative things fooooorever, but seem to ditch the good stuff at the drop of a hat. At the same time though I seem to live in memories, and have difficulties letting them go. I use them as comparisons to present situations quite often.
learning
Despite being in school for so long, I've just relatively recently started to actually 'learn'. Before I would read and acknowledge facts and be able to regurgitate them back out with not too many problems. Now I'm beginning to see more than the superficial. Learning seems to me like internalizing knowledge and making it a part of you. I'm digging doing this. :Db
time
I'm not sure about this one. I like to watch it? I'm always very early for appointments because I can't stand to be late. One eye always seems to be on a clock. I'm fairly certain this is tied to a self esteem issue. If you're early you can get there before there are a lot of eyes that can see you. I'm also conscious that I'm not getting any younger and need to get a move on with things. XD
effort
I've never really felt like I've put effort into anything in my life. Good grades seemed to come easy to me in school, jobs have always fallen into place for me, it seemed like I was in a relationship with an awesome guy up until a few years ago. Then everything kind of blew up and I was forced to actually try for something. In school now I can't just sleep through most of my classes in order to earn an A, and I'm finding that my relationship with Rui is requiring an enormous effort for me to finally break free of the chains of a highly destructive past which left me very mentally scarred. At first I didn't get it. What the hell was effort anyway? For someone content to just let things do whatever, to accept the negative things as her due, it seemed, and still kinda seems, to be a very daunting task. And I'm realizing how important effort is to hold on to the dreams, and people, that you want.
domyoji
My main character in CFUD! He is my soul animal in so many ways. Domyoji has a violent exterior, which I don't, but I make up for that with a mask of indifference and aloofness around people that I'm not close to. He can be very professional, he can act out roles given to him. But inside he's just a big kid who's looking to be loved. He's a hopeless romantic, is angry when people are late, and is just generally a big goofball.
memory
I have an absolutely extraordinary memory. Pity it's just extremely short term. My long term memory seems to be very selective. I remember negative things fooooorever, but seem to ditch the good stuff at the drop of a hat. At the same time though I seem to live in memories, and have difficulties letting them go. I use them as comparisons to present situations quite often.
learning
Despite being in school for so long, I've just relatively recently started to actually 'learn'. Before I would read and acknowledge facts and be able to regurgitate them back out with not too many problems. Now I'm beginning to see more than the superficial. Learning seems to me like internalizing knowledge and making it a part of you. I'm digging doing this. :Db
time
I'm not sure about this one. I like to watch it? I'm always very early for appointments because I can't stand to be late. One eye always seems to be on a clock. I'm fairly certain this is tied to a self esteem issue. If you're early you can get there before there are a lot of eyes that can see you. I'm also conscious that I'm not getting any younger and need to get a move on with things. XD